Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Cover of Rolling Stone

Ok I was looking in the the list on the Rolling Stone (magazine, to those of you who are immune to plurals) website, and they had this list of "Leading Ladies on the cover of Rolling Stone".  Being the idiot that I am I thought, "oh cool" so I checked out.  I found it to be so offensive.  Approximately 4 out of the 24 (an eighth) covers that were shown were NOT trying to sell these actress's insane amount of sexiness.  All the other 20 covers were showered with headlines like "The Naughty Ways of Drew Barrymore" or "Angelina Jolie, Devil Doll".  I believe these women have a lot more to offer than their apparent promiscuity and what lies underneath those strategically placed hands.  I mean, Nicole Kidman won an Oscar!  Having these covers either means that they believe that this is all these women have to offer, or they think it's an easy way to attract readers.  Rolling Stone is not "Penthouse" or even "Maxim"!  It's a music/culture magazine dammit!  Respect women!

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Bride and Prejudice= shitty Bollywood movie

Ok because I lack any real computer skills I wrote this for Imdb, but there website really sucks so I couldn't write it.
Summary: Gurinder Chadha's "Bride and Prejudice" is a 21st century
Bollywood adaption of Jane Austen's "Pride and Prejudice", takes place
in modern day India, with a rich family of four daughters, a silly
class obsessed mother, and a smart reasonable father. Two men come from
England for a wedding, and the daughters and the men meet. The
British-Indian man and the eldest daughter hit it off, but the man's
friend Darcy is interested in the second daughter Lalita who doesn't
return his feelings due to his tactless remarks. Lalita falls in love
with Darcy's old friend and nemesis, and Darcy fumes in the background.
Darcy tells Lalita that the man has wronged his family, Lalita goes to
love Darcy, they get married, the end. And they sing and dance in
between. I was extremely unimpressed by this movie. I remember growing
up and watching old Bollywood movies at Indian restaurants and loving
them, despite their complete lack of reality.
Friend who is beautiful but I will never admit it.

Aishwarya Rai.
Wait or is it the other way around?  But I should add my Literature teacher to the mix, who is a complete and utter bombshell at around 45.  I am so lucky she is my neighbor and I own binoculars.
I feel as if "Bride and
Prejudice" got good reviews solely on the fact that Aishwarya Rai
happens to be called the most beautiful woman in the world. I have a
good friend that looks nearly identical to her and is probably the
vainest person in the world, which is a quality that I also feel comes
off from Rai.
Anyways going on with the story. I found parts to be
entertaining: Mr. Kholi and his stereotypical easterner going too
westerner, the silly mother, Jaya and Balraj's budding relationship.

But they did not make up for the parts that the movie lacked:

1) The movie lacks basic believability. Lalita tells Darcy that his
idea for a expensive hotel in their Indian hometown is completely off
because the tourists won't see "the REAL India". Despite this, we never
get to see the "real India", not in the somehow happy and middle class
merchants or in the streets. I don't expect this to be "Slumdog
Millionaire", but come on! They live in a marble house with a fountain
in it!

2) The musical numbers were tacky and out of place, and quite frankly,
embarrassing to watch. They had a black gospel choir cooing in the
background, who the love dove couple seemed oblivious to while taking a
long romantic walk on the beach. 'Nuff said.

3) How come Darcy's sister seemed unscathed from her pregnancy from
George Wichkham, or whatever they changed his name into from the movie?
I think it would have been more powerful if it came from her instead.

4) The script is completely unoriginal and expected, pulling out corny
lines and clich├ęs.

5) Double marriage on an elephant.

Gurinda Chadha's "Bend It Like Beckham", on the other hand, had what it
takes to make a movie filled with Indian characters and culture but
still be believable, fun, young, and fresh. So I don't recommend you
give up on her entirely, just skip on this ridiculous movie.

Going to watch "Fiddler on the Roof" with my class in two days, then ditch from the buses to go see "Black Swan" with my best friend (bad ass points alert).  Then I'll buy a bra, preferably adorned with black feathers.  I'll keep you posted, whoever you bored person are.

Monday, December 6, 2010

The wonders of HUMMA HUMMA

Have I ever told you of the wonders of Humma beads?  I made these for my cousins, who of course broke them five seconds in while I was doing a slow mo crying session worthy of 3rd rock.  Haha my favorite sitcom, Dick is hilarious.
I have done many humma beads works, and I will hopefully continue posting them once I can make them into jewelry.

Hmmmmmmm at H&M

It felt like a dream.  I was stuck in the mall shortly before it opened, with a big fat happy wallet exploding with roughly 700 shekels within a nude leather studded Zara bag buckle away.  It was lovely.  Then it turned into a nightmare.
After my sister abandoned me in favor of vitamins and hitching rides, I naively wandered into the stores I mainly go into with a stupidly giddy grin: H&M, Zara, TwentyFourSeven (doesn't that remind you of obnoxious word games from 2nd grade)?, Mango.  And then I wandered into them another time.  And another time.  And another time.  To not bore you with delightfully unentertaining mall travels, I went into these stores and at least 15 other stores whose names aren't chic and foreign enough to be mentioned at a minimum of literally 8 times.  8 times.  And I started a sentence with a number.  And I repeated repetition once again.
Once (or twice for that matter) of repeatedly cavilirally (is that even a word?) entering H&M I spotted a beige knit dress in a section which I had never gone in before.  What I really wanted was something to  feed my Stevie Nicks vibes, but life is hard for a girl who likes oversize.  So I bought it.  Later when I walked in for another time, I saw a sleeved black lace minidress and it was gorgeous and my size.  But it was in the last season's section so if I wanted a different size I couldn't get it and 1/3 more expensive than the dress that I bought before, so I didn't even try it on.
After I went home all happy and famished, I checked the knit dress and I found out that I bought it in THE MATERNITY SECTION IN
Now I'm having insane dreams that revolve around the lace dress and I can't decide if to return this one or not.  I know I look like a serial killer, but a serial killer with adorable oxfords!  Check them out with this better shot:

So what is your verdict about the dress that I got?  Should I return it or not?  You decide.  (haha I can't believe I said that so corny).

Thursday, December 2, 2010

forman band

My parents have absolutely no sense of timing: I'm 25 years too late for Woodstock.  I know, it contradicts the punk ideology (which is utter bullshit) blah blah blah.  But I miss a time when peace was considered to be badass and rung to the sound of the soul and well.....vitamins.  I am a girl who says yes to boys who say no.  I think that some of the artists at the time (picture here Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, Jefferson Airplane, Joan Baez, Roger Daltrey) were the best of the best and remain undefeated to this day.  Not to mention the fact that they had really good taste.  (Fringe, fur,tie dye suede, and nudity anyone?)  And just to flatter myself, I think I look a bit like the lovely Grace Slick, hence the blurry pics which unfortunately didn't show that very well.  I also showed my now only 10 pound cat, Fatso the feline, to remind her that she is very lucky to be with me and not on Janis Joplin's head.  (Btw, I know that not all these pictures are from Woodstock, but everyone shown here except for me and Fatso were present.)

Friday, November 19, 2010

Stevie Nicks and Taylor Swift 2010 Grammys

Stevie Nicks (yes that Stevie Nicks!) and Taylor Swift at the Grammy's

Stevie Nicks:
A legend, a fashion icon, a songwriter, a beauty, and the woman embodying one of the greatest female rock voices of all time.
That is my view of Stevie in a nutshell.  Man, oh, man I love her.  I'm borderline obsessed with her.  There's just something so celestial about her, I know it's ironic with the witch vibes and all, but still.
Once in a million years a lady like her rises.
Truthfully, I liked it more in the 70's when she had that luscious wavy hair, but you gotta watch this video (I've stuck it on to the post before this one).  It's ethereal.

With that said, I know shes aged with the years, but to me shes still divine.  Someone who I don't find divine is Taylor Swift.
Sure, Tayla is pwetty, can play guitaw, drwesses weally pwettily, and wites her own songs, but she doesn't have what Stevie has: depth.

What I found to be sad is that the two blondes were put together on the same stage, and one was more dominant than the other.  Taylor's pitch was a little off even in her own song, but what was really horrifying was that Stevie only got to sing one verse of her own song signature song, Rhiannon.  Then Taylor stomped all over it.  Her voice and her hair alike were all over the place.  And it gets worse: Stevie did backup on Taylor's shitty song.  Backup I tell you, backup!
Wonder what you think know about giving Taylor those four awards now, deaf Grammy grannies!

I'm sorry, Stevie and Taylor do not belong together.

(P.S. If you want to see the crime, click the video above this post.  Comment away!)