Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Cover of Rolling Stone






Ok I was looking in the the list on the Rolling Stone (magazine, to those of you who are immune to plurals) website, and they had this list of "Leading Ladies on the cover of Rolling Stone".  Being the idiot that I am I thought, "oh cool" so I checked out.  I found it to be so offensive.  Approximately 4 out of the 24 (an eighth) covers that were shown were NOT trying to sell these actress's insane amount of sexiness.  All the other 20 covers were showered with headlines like "The Naughty Ways of Drew Barrymore" or "Angelina Jolie, Devil Doll".  I believe these women have a lot more to offer than their apparent promiscuity and what lies underneath those strategically placed hands.  I mean, Nicole Kidman won an Oscar!  Having these covers either means that they believe that this is all these women have to offer, or they think it's an easy way to attract readers.  Rolling Stone is not "Penthouse" or even "Maxim"!  It's a music/culture magazine dammit!  Respect women!

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Bride and Prejudice= shitty Bollywood movie

Ok because I lack any real computer skills I wrote this for Imdb, but there website really sucks so I couldn't write it.
Summary: Gurinder Chadha's "Bride and Prejudice" is a 21st century
Bollywood adaption of Jane Austen's "Pride and Prejudice", takes place
in modern day India, with a rich family of four daughters, a silly
class obsessed mother, and a smart reasonable father. Two men come from
England for a wedding, and the daughters and the men meet. The
British-Indian man and the eldest daughter hit it off, but the man's
friend Darcy is interested in the second daughter Lalita who doesn't
return his feelings due to his tactless remarks. Lalita falls in love
with Darcy's old friend and nemesis, and Darcy fumes in the background.
Darcy tells Lalita that the man has wronged his family, Lalita goes to
love Darcy, they get married, the end. And they sing and dance in
between. I was extremely unimpressed by this movie. I remember growing
up and watching old Bollywood movies at Indian restaurants and loving
them, despite their complete lack of reality.
Friend who is beautiful but I will never admit it.

Aishwarya Rai.
Wait or is it the other way around?  But I should add my Literature teacher to the mix, who is a complete and utter bombshell at around 45.  I am so lucky she is my neighbor and I own binoculars.
I feel as if "Bride and
Prejudice" got good reviews solely on the fact that Aishwarya Rai
happens to be called the most beautiful woman in the world. I have a
good friend that looks nearly identical to her and is probably the
vainest person in the world, which is a quality that I also feel comes
off from Rai.
Anyways going on with the story. I found parts to be
entertaining: Mr. Kholi and his stereotypical easterner going too
westerner, the silly mother, Jaya and Balraj's budding relationship.

But they did not make up for the parts that the movie lacked:

1) The movie lacks basic believability. Lalita tells Darcy that his
idea for a expensive hotel in their Indian hometown is completely off
because the tourists won't see "the REAL India". Despite this, we never
get to see the "real India", not in the somehow happy and middle class
merchants or in the streets. I don't expect this to be "Slumdog
Millionaire", but come on! They live in a marble house with a fountain
in it!

2) The musical numbers were tacky and out of place, and quite frankly,
embarrassing to watch. They had a black gospel choir cooing in the
background, who the love dove couple seemed oblivious to while taking a
long romantic walk on the beach. 'Nuff said.

3) How come Darcy's sister seemed unscathed from her pregnancy from
George Wichkham, or whatever they changed his name into from the movie?
I think it would have been more powerful if it came from her instead.

4) The script is completely unoriginal and expected, pulling out corny
lines and clich├ęs.

5) Double marriage on an elephant.

Gurinda Chadha's "Bend It Like Beckham", on the other hand, had what it
takes to make a movie filled with Indian characters and culture but
still be believable, fun, young, and fresh. So I don't recommend you
give up on her entirely, just skip on this ridiculous movie.


Going to watch "Fiddler on the Roof" with my class in two days, then ditch from the buses to go see "Black Swan" with my best friend (bad ass points alert).  Then I'll buy a bra, preferably adorned with black feathers.  I'll keep you posted, whoever you bored person are.